I'm thinking i'd prefer not to be rescued...

i'm alone. but am i really? relationship wise i am, but im not fully alone. i have my family. i have my friends. i have my music. i have my guitar, which has honestly become my best friend these past few weeks.

sometimes i think about us and what we used to be and maybe what we could be one day. and when i do, i get really down and feel alone. but i know that i can defeat this struggle. i care about you. i love you. i need you. i miss you a lot of times. i miss us a lot of times. but what i know about us, isthat as much as we thought it...we were never meant to be. your heart has always belonged to someone else, and i could never really have it.

sometimes when im with you i want to be yours again. i want to be in your arms again. i want there to be an us again. but i know that if there were, i'd still have that same struggle with your heart and end up hurt again.

i'm not alone,

im learning to be independent.

to be my own person.

two to none,

roads that lead away from this,

i'm following myself just this once.

and i've got spun,

it appears you're spun as well

-Andrew McMahon of Jack's Mannequin

the sun is up. the sky is blue. it's beautiful and so are you.

it's truly amazing to me the way a day can change without us even realizing it. when i woke up this morning i was feeling quite apathetic. it didn't feel like it would be a good day. i wasn't planning on it being a good day, but still i hoped for the best. i got to school and things were starting to feel better. i think it's all about energy and vibes. when you get around people with a positive energy it somehow is transferred to you, and it's amazing.
another thing that got me thinking today was my spanish class. at the beginning of class our teacher asks us in spanish how we are feeling that day. usually most people just give an answer of good, sad, tired, or happy. until one girl answered with tired but still very happy. no one likes feeling tired. it can usually bring a person's day down entirely. but this girl could look past being tired and still manage to have a good, maybe even great, day. just because things aren't exactly perfect, or one thing is getting us doen doesnt mean we have to let our day fall completely down. we can find some kind of positive thing to make us feel better about that day and live it in a great way.

i think that was my small inspiration for the day. positivity and energy. theyre amazing things. let them in.

a change gonna come

i'm not perfect and i'll be the first to admit it. right now in my life i'm struggling with love. i'm struggling with math. i'm struggling with confidence. i find inspiration in the oddest of places. but it never lasts for long. i'm loking for something new. i'm looking to change it. i'm looking for someone or something to help me change it. i know i can't do it on my own.

i believe in change. i believe it can happen if you try hard enough. i want to find the change i long for.

i believe in love. i'm struggling to right now, but i know deep down inside i always will.

i believe in imagination. i think it's the key to success in life.

i beleive in hope. hope for something. hope for someone. don't let go. you could find a change. it could change your life.